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Is our culture becoming more narcissistic? Mobile dating went mainstream about five years ago; by it was overtaking online dating. Nancy Jo Sales, Tinder and The Dawn of The Dating Apocalypse. With the proliferation of online dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, PlentyofFish and OkCupid, there has been a visible rise of instant gratification without emotional intimacy in our dating culture.
At the same time, the younger generation of men and women are more likely to encounter narcissists — those without empathy — at an alarming rate in their daily lives. While malignant narcissists can be found anywhere and everywhere and there are certainly decent people on dating websites, the online world of dating provides predators with a platform where they can gain access to multiple victims without accountability.
Here are three ways in which we encounter narcissism in the digital age and self-care tips to keep you safe. The younger generation is growing up at an exciting yet terrifying time: a time when connections can be made instantaneously, yet meaningful connections are becoming harder and harder to find.
We are being conditioned to believe that we are entitled to an unlimited number of choices as we swipe through what is virtually a human meat market. The problem is, the number of choices we have is doing little to assuage the need for fulfilling and meaningful relationships. Those who are looking for casual dates and sex may be satisfied with the likes of Tinder, one of the most popular dating apps used by singles, but those who are looking for something more meaningful may be traumatized and retraumatized by the number of people who pretend to be looking for a serious relationship while misrepresenting their true intentions.
Studies show that deception is common on these apps, with users creating an illusory image of who they are and what they are looking for, resulting in frustrating romantic encounters Purvis, A digital detox is needed, especially in times like these. Frequent online dating app users may want to take a break from swiping-induced carpal tunnel and spend time alone or with family and friends rather than engaging in serial dating.
Find ways to meet people organically without using these apps; attend Meetups based on your hobbies or interests, or join clubs that center on your passions; pursue activities in your local community such as group meditations or yoga with like-minded people.
Look up from the screen and engage in face-to-face conversations with the people in front of you; the more we interact with others in real life, the more hope we have for connecting with humanity in more authentic ways. In many cases, it will only delay the natural grieving process and lead to more disappointment. Online dating gives malignant narcissists and sociopaths access to numerous sources of what is known as narcissistic supply — people who can provide them with praise, admiration, and resources — without any need for any form of investment, commitment or accountability.
These digital platforms also enable narcissists to construct a very convincing and compelling false mask that lures potential targets into various scams.
Predators can also adapt their profiles to create an image of themselves that appeal to their potential victims; a majority of online dating users have been shown to have profiles that stray from the truth in some capacity Wood, Manage your expectations and listen to your intuition when online.
Remember, immediate intimacy with someone can be a red flag of fast forwarding to get an agenda met. Always put your safety first and try not divulge too much about your income, your career, your relationship history or any other resource a predator might find appealing before getting to know someone.
Build connections slowly and organically so that you have the necessary space to step back and reevaluate when needed. Our current hookup culture and the rise of online dating apps have made emotional unavailability a new normal Garcia, et. al Needless to say, the effects of hookup culture can be alarming to the psyche and have a psychological impact on the way that we view relationships and intimacy in the modern age. Both younger and older generations alike are becoming accustomed to the idea of having another date or rebound at their fingertips, without having to do the inner work of healing from past relationships or working on their self-esteem.
People can now latch themselves onto the next partner without taking the time to grieve or learn from past mistakes. For those who are looking for something casual and carefree, this can be empowering and exciting.
For those who are looking for a longer-term commitment, however, they may have to sort through many covert manipulators before finding someone who is compatible with their needs and desires.
A half-hearted relationship that results in more losses than gains is one where no one wins — except, of course, the person who gets all the benefits of your company without the effort. Remember that you are already worthy of a great and healthy relationship. Manage your expectations online and realize that there will be many people in cyberspace who will try to get your maximum investment while putting in the minimum effort.
The right person who is compatible with you will want what you want — whether you meet them online or in real life. It will be clear — and that will be the relationship that will be worth investing in. Shahida is the author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse and the poetry book She Who Destroys the Light. She is a staff writer at Thought Catalog. Follow Shahida on Instagram or read more articles from Shahida on Thought Catalog. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.
They respond to consequences. You deserve the best and more… so I strongly encourage you to get this book! It took every detail from my past struggles and validated and helped make sense of everything. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.
You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Skip to content. By Shahida Arabi Updated May 18, About the author Shahida is the author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse and the poetry book She Who Destroys the Light. Abusive Narcissists Age Of Tinder Dating Apps Hookup Culture Modern Romance Narcissism Online Dating Online Dating Gone Wrong Psychopaths Online.
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